When I went for the first time, it was right after I’d seen Don’t Look Now (which is awesome) so I was a bit creeped out at the get-go. It didn’t help that the day we ended up in Venice (part of a longer Italian whirlwind trip) was foggy and coincided with the death of the pope. It was the perfect weird-storm. Streets were largely empty and dark and our only company, other ill-timed tourists. I left Venice disappointed. It was beautiful, expensive, eerie and despite the relatively barren streets, somehow still touristy. You get the feeling that Venice is dying or maybe already dead. Everyone who lives there is 80 years old or serves the tourist machine in some capacity, which is depressing. Fast forward like eight years.
In the midst of my dreamy, perfect Italian hillside extravaganza, I felt obligated to once again give Venice a chance. In the previous years, I’d heard so many people go on and on about the magic of Venice. Had I missed something? I figured I might as well find out. YOLO and all that. We took the train into town one morning with open minds.
I can now safely confirm: I don’t like Venice.
Some greatest hits:
- Its Disneyland for people who take photos of themselves in front of stuff. Its like a photoshoot minefield down every street.
- The air is stuffy and when its hot the shade doesn’t even help.
- Its expensive and you have to pay a premium just to sit at a table in a restaurant.
- Its super crowded and you will get stuck behind a 100 tourist long conga-line.
- Its too easy to get lost and not in a fun way. More in a “rat in a experiment” way.
- Gondolas are stupid.
To be fair, it wasn’t all bad. I had some killer pizza in the Jewish quarter. I’m sure, like anywhere else, some will jump to defend it but whatever… more Venice for you I guess.